nothing that we could control.

We are living in this criminal world

nothing that we can control of

Gotta find a way to survive through this world

Gotta have something to help you get through this world.

Can't do it alone

Don't plan to give up

We will survive through this criminal world through God's help

Life can be really scary and confusing

I feel that living in this world is not the safest place to live in

Everywhere we go, something bad just happen

Nothing I can do to prevent that

Just pray for better life

Just pray for the world we are living in

Just pray for our soldier in Iraq fighting

Just pray for those people who are sick

just pray for the economic

Pray for those people who lost their job

we all need something to pray for

just pray for everything

year after year, the world is turning upside down

People going crazy but not asking God to help them

not asking God to guide them

not asking God what they want

Just ignore God's help won't get u nowhere

Can't blame God your problem

we can't stay mad at everything that happen on this earth

Live your life and move on

it is all about living and dying

Life is too short to bitter

just sitting in my bed and figure why this happening

Cant be mad at everyone especially God that have been taken live away

don't be mad at him

God loves you so much and gave up his life just for you

People just can't realize it is a wake up call for all of us

A path where it lead you to a good life turn into a bad path

i see bad thing happen every day

nothing that we can control of

All we need is Jesus

Life ahead of you could be so beautiful if you chose it

just sitting on my knee and crying and crying

tear flowing down my cheek to people killing people

I am sad cuz a lot of people lost their job

i am furious and hurt cuz people dying unnatual, and leaving us so soon

I am depress because we are all depress to live in this criminal world which we can't control of

we have our bible in our hand, Jesus, and get on your knee and pray

survive through this world

Cry with us

pray with us

survive with us

God will be with us

u don't have to go alone

we will do it together

he will be there for us

Be Strong

Don't be scared to live your life

Move on and enjoy your life

Put God in your life first

Have faith in him

All you have to do is Pray

he will be there to answer your prayer

Don't rush him

don't be mad at him if he didn't get on time.

All we need is Jesus to go through this.

we all need God's help to move on.

Copyright by Contessa Brown

Loving you is BEAUTIFUL

I am in Love.
Love is wondering feeling but painful.
Love won't go away
Men come and go but u will not forget about him
He will always be part of me
Something about my sweetie bear is special
He is wonderful person with a big heart
But hurt me a lot
I know he doesn't mean any of it
He apologize in many different way
He try his very best not to lose me
He will find a way to prove it to me
He is a real man
Know why..
he care for me so much
Love me
He respect me
Show affection
Be there for me
Love for who I am.
Make me happy
Know how to blush me n keep it going
He protect me if something had happen
Will u find any man like that?
He will take a risk before anything happen to his girl
Last nite, it hit me
I am in love
It never happen to me before
Wow, that is the kind of men I want
He is one of them
My sweetie bear, u will always be in my heart
I will never forget about u
Babi, I can't express my feeling what you are to me.
When I am with you, I feel secure, comfortable, and
Missin being in your arm again
Missin you cuddle with me, ugh, ur soft thick body is killin me
It is a sad when it come to ending
I know I will see you next month
I want more of you
Oct 22, 2006 was not enough time for us to spend
It was so so so so good to see you
It had been four month that I hadn't seen ya
Babi, my heart just stop when u came to see me
Couldn't live without you
What I love about you is that
U are adorable.
Just love the way you put your arm around me
Love the way you dance with me
Love the way you grab my ass
Love the way you touch me
Love the way you kiss me
Love the way you hug me
Love the way you scared at me
Love is a good thing that I love about ma sweetie bear.
Last moment for us to spend are painful and short
Just hate the way you leave me when I need you more
Hate the way you sa goodbye
The benefit for us that we saw each other n in each other's arm again
When it is time for you to u leave
I didn't want you to go
Cuz I care about you so much
My feelin was so strong.
Every time I see you, it get worse


Something is missin and I need it from u
Those soft kiss we kissed was leadin for more
I didn't want you to leave
So I kiss you more so u can stay with me
I cry cuz I didn't want u go
I scolded me not to
I hug u so long
I keep holdin you up
Babi, I don't want u to go
I look into my eyez
U didn't want to go but you have to
I need you
I want you
I need your kiss
I miss you so fuccin much
It is killin me
I have need and when can you fillful it?
How long do I have to wait?
Why u have to leave tonite?
Why?
Why?
We shared one last kissed
That was it
Tear fall down on my cheek
I couldn't let you go
For couple of months ago, I couldn't forget about you
All I think about you
I think of you as my brother, best friend, partner, lover & friend, fucking partner, best pal, anyname u mention, you def. Are mine.
My love for you is too strong n u will taste every inch of it.

"Lovin someone is a wonderful feelin"

Missin you sweeetie bear




Copyright by Contessa Brown

My friendship of Sexi Mama C and you

Friendships are very hard to find.
Friends got game to play
They will get what they want
But gotta be careful who I talk to
Cuz they be playing games with my mind.
Friend just come and go.
None of them r willing stay right there with you.
They don't give a damn about u
It is all about him.
And think about themselves
Friends r rarely to be found
They r one of a kind
Friendships and sex into a mixture can make me blind
I am def. Blind
Gotta make sure he isn't after what he is looking for
It either sex, lust or love
There is gotta be something they desire
Being with me, u know u want something.
Gotta pay attention of what I am doing
Either I will be the one end up hurting
We made careful decision
We were just chilling around
We liked each other but we crossed the line
by mistake
Urge for something
Lead one thing to another
The decision that I made hurt me
Regret of what I did was hurtful n painful
Look what my decision did to me
Sexi Mama C have to dealt with it
I might lose my temper in order to lose you
Sexi Mama C wanna cherish this friendship we have.
I didn't lie when I said I don't have feelin 4 u
Sexin more often made me drawn to you
The feelin I have for u is strong and pure.
The jealously was showing thr my face
Even tho u didn't notice.
I don't want any bitches to have you
but u r not mine.
That is jealousy right there
It is hard to endure when we had sex.
It is hard not to care about the person u r with
Fell for the person is hard
Sexi Mama C is so unsure of the kind of feeling I am having for you.
Wondering what happen next.
Will Sexi Mama C lose you?
When we see each other, I wanna lure with you.
But we can't continue to do this
One of us are already hurting
I don't want to lose our friendship
My emotions for you will be mixed up and never get it fixed right.
If I ever lost you, it will be hard to get u back in my life.
I will be crushed.
I have already lost one of my true friend in N.J.
I don't wanna lose YOU, too
Now I have this feelin for u
and now u know the truth.
It will be my dealing
All different kind of feeling that I have for u.
sexing each other too often drawn us feeling
Awful feeling to feel
Emotions can't be eliminate.
It will come and go.
It will never go away
cuz emotions I have for you will always be part of me
I will try not to think about it too hard
It is difficult.
We can be friends but can't have sex.
Do u really wanna lose me?
I either lose you if we continue to do that.
Again, I don't wanna lose u.
I rather be your friend instead of going thr pain and shyt
U r the best thing that ever happen to me
I got a lot of love for you.
Boo, you won't be forgotten
You will always be my handsome babi
To be honest, I am sexual, physical, and mental attractive to you.
I have a decision to make.
I want to have healthy friendship with you
N go back where we start
I am gonna to be all right
Don't worry about me
I have done that n been there
I am a strong women.
There is no need for me to cry over you
But I will be crying for myself.
What we have was sex.
Sex was great
I did like you n
I still like u no matta what
We r gonna to be close friend.
When this is all over, we will be all right.
I will be on my own and u will, too
Just keep in touch
Promise me u will keep in touch with me
Promise me
Why am I keeping hurting myself more?
Why I keep lettin guy play with my mind?
Sexi Mama C am tired of giving a guy a chance
Chance is not a game to be play with
Gotta cherish it
I gotta be strong
I gotta keep my head up

Copyright @ Contessa Brown

da whole me r GONE

One morning
Woke up feeling so upside down
Took a warm bath
Didn't feel beautiful
Didn't feel like a lady
There were nothing to feel
Just looking in the mirror
What do I see?
I see nobody
Just don't see Contessa Brown, not Sexi Mama C, Sexi Shea Bear, nor LaShea Williams
I don't exist
Not in my brown eyes, I don't.
Just looking in the mirror
I see tearing flowing down my cheek
Whatever made me cry hard, it hit me hard
As I was crying, I feel my life is over
Just looking in the mirror,
Just not a beautiful women anymore
I know I'm beautiful in God's eyes
But in my brown eyes, I am not.
I don't know if I ever will feel that way again
Just feel that the whole me are completely gone.
I am not me anymore.
Just looking in the mirror
I said "Why, Why, Why, Why me!"
God knows I am hurting real bad
This can't be heal overnight
blood just flowing,
it hurt so bad
I don't want to live with it
I rather die with it
I know God didn't bless me this
This mistake I made is the price I have to pay
I'm not proud of the choice I made
I have learned my lesson
Those mistake WON'T be repeated
Do I deserve this?
Just looking in the mirror,
How can I ENJOY Life? 
HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?  crying.
Enjoy life is impossible
Impossible for me
Cuz I don't feel so worthy to enjoy life
Just feel my life is so over
It will be hard for me to move on w my life
I know I lost father last year
Do I suffer enough pain already?
so much pain to burden
Pain just keep coming and coming
Just can't deal with it anymore.
Just can't
not anymore
Do I deserve to be on dis earth?
Why am I being punishment?
It just keep getting worse and worse
God, pls help me. pls
This will be extremely difficult tha I have to face in life
I try my best to accept this
i try my best to move on.
In reality, I have to accept what have happen to me & my life.
I wish I could go back & prevent it from happen.
God knows I am really trying hard.
Crying, it is so hard.
God, I need you
I wanna cry along with God and follow every where he goes.
He knows my pain
Please take my pain away. Pls God, I don't want to feel anymore.
I rather to DIE than feeling this pain

Copyright by Contessa Brown