Let go of someone you love is hard

It is very hard to let go of the person you are so in love with but it is very hard to try to hold on the person when you are about to give up. No one say giving up love was going to be easy. Ugh I'm going to miss loving him. I'm so disappoint the way thing have to end for the both of us. We let our argument on text kill our relationship. Maybe something is telling us but we tend to ignore it. Why LOVE have to be so hard to deal with? I don't want to start all over again to love someone new because I'm so afraid to get hurt. I thought I have everything in life. I just can't expected and wanted what I want in life. I'm so much in denial and I pretend that I'm not in love him. I had been lying over again and refuse to admit that I'm fucking in love w the dude. It take a long process to move on with my life but it won't be easy. I am not really sure if I am ready to give up on love or give up on him yet. All I want to do is hate the person who made me feel that way. Nah, I just CAN'T hate him yet. Not just yet. It is a wake call for me & no more going back and forth to him. If he ain't putting anymore effort in this, I'm so done so done. No more of my kindness being taking advantage. I won't be a giver. It should have taught me something.

Conflict in Love

Conflict in LOVE

Love is in the air until you catch it

It takes time for it to come to you

There r different kind of love

I caught one but his love is not what I want. Abusive love could lead

into violence relationship

Your physical attractive did catch my attention

first when I met u

But it is not enough

Thinking you are all that

Thinking you are hard

Tryin so hard to impress me to like you more

I have seen you many time but I was not fully attractive to you

Just a little

Thing doesn't go right with us( thing doesn't went well with us)

I like you as a friend

You like me more than a friend

I see you as a friend

But you see me as boyfriend/girlfriend materials

I wish I could feel the same way you r feelin

I should have walked away when I first laid my eyez on you

None of this shyt would happen

You r not the type of man that I would date

I can't picture myself with you

When I am with you

You don't make me happy

I feel angry, mad, uncomfortable, fussy, and sad

I don't like one bit about you

We don't have anything in common

I am a ghetto classy women in a good way

I have a lot of good inside me

You have a lot bad inside of you with a good heart

I am a good women

You are gangsta

I have a good personality

You have a bad personality

My life was lil hard and raised well.

You went through a hard life with a lot of struggle.

But we r not on the same level where we at

Strong women like me won't let the bad thing come into my life

What is so special about me that you want?

Nothing is so special

I am not the women for you

Find ur women who down for you

I am not down for you

I will not be the one

I guarantee you

Why you want me to be the one?

So you can keep me the path where you are

Ruin my reputation

Destroy my life

Be stuck with you allthe way

Won't happen.

Can't have that shyt in my life

I aint judgin you

It is the truth

You r blind

look close in the mirror hard

And tell me what u see

U will understand what I am sayin

Is that the kind of life you want?

Take it as a considerable

12/06
Copyright @Contessa Brown

Love is hard

Should I hate you because you hurt me

Should I care about you because you hate me

Should I be there when you don't care

Love is so fucking blind

I have been blind to love

someone like you

always thinking my loving you is very easy

but losing you is very difficult

how can I deal with that kind of love?

Why am I so afraid to lose you when

you are not mine?

i was born the day I fell in love with you

I die the day you left me with a broken heart

I live in the moment when you love me

i die in the moment when you hurt me

I will always love you no matter what 

The way you treated me,

just hurt me even more

I will never stop loving you.

I know that I was losing you

& I lost it

you just throw my love away

You just put my heart on the bottom of your toes

and walk all over it like a piece of trash

i will never ever forgive you for that

Once I find love again,

you will regret it

I wanna you to be my first love

& be my last love

is that too much to ask?

I can't have what I want.

Never will

too much of my kindness

turn you off

being nice is too much for you

too much of being clingy

annoy the shit out of you

too much of what.

how would I know if you keep all your feeling to yourself.

how can I read you?

I am not a mind reader

How can I understand you

it is too much for me to handle.

I will always love you no matter what

u will always have a place in my heart

if we aint meant to be together.

 Copyright @Contessa Brown

The love from my past

You will be the love from my past once I get completely over you. You will always have a special place in my heart even though it is broken. Once my hearts heals itself, your place is still there. You are the best thing that ever happen to me. No one will ever replace you. Not another Scorpio. I thank you for letting me to LOVE you. I enjoying my time loving you. & other moment we be pissing each other way too much. You are such a great person. There is no going back. You will be living in the my past. Just hate putting you in my past which I don't want to. If you are reading this, I will never stop loving you, cutiebear

You are Beautiful

She wrote this poem after I wrote " Da Whole Me Are Gone". "Somehow she felt my pain I love her for that. As I read her poem she wrote me, she had me in tear. Thank babygirl, Lateefah P. Thank for cheering me up.

“You Are Beautiful”

You are beautiful from inside and outside.

The beauty I see in you would be who you are.

You expressed yourself in a way that most people may not do.

I can see that you need help and you leave in God's hand.

I would be so willing to give you a shoulder to cry on.

To help let go of all of your emotion that you need to release, till then you may come to the term of what you can do about your situation.

All of your burden that you had will be lift.

You will have a positive energy surrounding you knowing that you have someone to support you.

And most of all, you know you can advocate yourself to keep you happy.

I'm all eyes to listen to your problems and I'm sure that the same to other important people in your life.

Sometime in life, we are not satisfied with what happen to us or the answers to the problems that we have.

I'm sure you already know this, we have to accept hard, move on, and accept reality.

The only thing we can change is ourselves.

Since you are not happy about yourself and didn't think you are beautiful, why don’t you take a look at the mirror again to see the positive side of yourself?

I know this is hard, try it, and hopefully you will see yourself in a better perspective.

Since no one is perfect, we all have our weakness and strength.

I’ll pray for you to heal soul and for you to recover to find your strength again.

I’ll pray for you to find yourself again by knowing who you are.

I’ll pray for you that you will be alright and you are gaining to be a better and stronger woman than in the past.

SMILE!

Forget love

Forget love
Love ain't worth of trying.
  Trying is just a waste of time.
Tired of giving a good man a chance
Tired of being such a giver
Every chance I give is being diminish
If my love can't satisfy you,
Find another women who can satisfy u
Don't mess with me nor my heart
My heart is like a diamond
A diamond should be cherish
Be real and tell the truth
Don't play game with me
Love is not a game.
For eight years of being single had been wonderful.
But where is the love at?
Love is in the air but hard to find.
I know know darn well, love is not in the air
Love is dead
Man, love hurts.
It hurts to be lonely
Life is a bitch
Life give us a test to make it through
No one is perfect to have a perfect relationship.
Love is so easily to get hurt.
I don't want to deal with any of that mess.
I don't need any man to love me.
I love myself more but not enough room in my heart for me to love my future soul mate.
I don't need any man to keep me happy
I am happy the way I am.
My heart won't have any more room left to love.
it is so full of hatred.
Heart broken into a half with
Bandage rip apart.
Blood drip as it flood
As I crying hard
Mixture of blood and water won't do any good
Still feel the pain in me
Who made me this way?
Whoever crushed my heart did this
Love is not a game to be play with
Love is not a toy to be play with
No one is not prepared for the pain.
No even me
I am so afraid to love the next person
who come into my life
I am afraid love will left a scar in my heart
My heart is not ready to settle for love.

Crushing my heart too many
time made me feel ugly, insecure and lonely.
My heart is way too value to me.
All I can say forget love.
Love is nothing but pain.
What is so special to be in love?
2009, being in love is dead
What happen to love in da 70's n 80's?
No more going to the movie
No more walkin in the park
No more watchin movie at the crib
No more going on a date
No more askin girl out on a date
No more walkin to da mall
No more dating
What happen to love?
love is dead
Everything had change since 20th century
1970 to 1980 was the best year
21 century suck for real

All they want to do is CHILL
 no one dont have time to chill
I don't want to be in love
Not in this 21 century
No good man out there
Too many baby daddy out there
Too many disease out there
Too many unfaithful guy out there
Too many pervert out there

Too many bunch of lazy dude out there
Man, that is why findin love is a damn batch
Make life more difficult
No more giving
I ain't male bashing
I am speaking da truth.
Copyright @ Contessa Brown

Darling, Be my Valentine

Darling, Be my Valentine

On this special Valentine's Day

I think of you very often.

When you are not here to celebrate together

I want memories to bring us laughter

I want us to create our first Valentine's Day moment together

It gotta be special

Our love got us so stronger.

After all those years of loving you

so many thing we've been through ups and downs

I consistency taking you back

You just don't know HOW much I LOVE YOU, BABY

I can show you better than my words

And why am I in so much love with you?

You got me feeling like this.

I couldn't stop crying after you cause me pain

You didn't give up our love us

I know somewhere in your heart

you still love me no what

You will always be my Valentine 

cuz I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Copyright @ Contessa Brown

I Miss You like crazy

After all those time,

we have been apart

I dream of you every minute

I miss seeing your handsome face

I miss your aroma

I miss your touch

I miss your love

I miss your kiss

I miss your cutiebear

I miss all of YOU

I MISS YOU SO MUCH

You have been on my mind a lot

It is telling me something

Just can't figure it out

Are we mention to be together?

My feeling for you is too strong

My word couldn't be explain any better

but my action of love show it better

You made me fall for you even more

Every time I see you

It is a blessing to love someone like you

I never had loved a guy like you

You kept me going

Your love kept me going

I wondering why I keep coming back to you

I realized how much I love you

I wanna be a good women

on your side

More than a great women

I don't know if I am that women

gotta test myself

I am not going to try hard to be that woman for you

I don't want to mess up of what we have

I LOVE what we have

You have bought my feeling back

I want to be more than your rib

I want you to be more than my prince

But I can't force it

gotta let it happen naturally

God have his magic way to work thing out

One day, I hope you will be my prince

You locked my heart with your love

 for the first time we ever met

Will you be my prince?

Will you let me be your officially women?

Will you let me be  your rib?

Will you let me be your EVERYTHING?

WILL YOU?
Copyright @ Contessa Brown

Love At First Sight

I am already in love

When I first laid my eyes on you

I fell in love 

When I look at you, 

You froze me in certain place that 

I can't move

I can speak 

I can't focus. 

You weaken me

My heart beat faster

every second,
every minute,

when I am around him
When my heart GET close to UR heart, 

it beat even MORE faster.
My heart belong to you
You finally got the key to
Unlocked my heart
You been had my heart
Since I first met you
It is like love at first sight
I enjoy loving you
It made my heart even stronger
Made me feel good
Made me feel like I got someone who love ME
Never gonna stop loving you
my loving will die if I stop loving you
You in my life meant so much to me
I have waiting for this
For the day to come

You came to rescue me

Rescue my love
So many wrong you have done,

I still love u no matter what
It will make you a better person
I can't imagine if you don't exist in my life
Just can't imagine
All those time,
We argue
We fight
We cried

We bitter
When we r not together
Is it normal for us to act tha way?
We realized we couldn't throw away what we had
Something had made us drawn back together
We made up
We kissing up each other feet
we texted again to make each other feel good
We r like superglue.
Stick forever
Never let go
Even tho there is a lil crack
But we always find our way back to each other
Love you so much to let you go
I will def. be a fool to give you away
I am so crazy over you
I would died if you ever leave me
My love won't be the same

loving a new person won't be the same

You are the best thing that ever happen to me

I will go crazy
If you r not in my life
Love make me do crazy thing
Not too crazy
No texting, I go crazy
Go crazy from not hearing my cutiebear
Being so far away is killing me
Love affection is what I need

Your cutiebear is what I need

Your love is what I need

You is what I need. 
Long distance is a damn BITCH.
How can I deal with it?
Put Trust & faith in it
It does come a long way
Is it me going crazy?
Being insane is not a good feeling
Sometime I wonder what my baby is going through

Baby, I love you

You will always part of me. 

I can feel you & sense you

I am so glad to be part of you life. 

I will never stop loving you.  
Copyright@ Contessa Brown

Feeling so angry inside

I am just laying down on my bed n thinkin bout you

I need you

I miss you

I want you

I care for you because I wanna hold you

before you go steadily with someone

I wanna give you my last kiss

The only thing I want is

for you to be happy

Whether it to be with me, without me

I just want you to be happy

Neva take anyone for a grant

Hold that person close to your hear

Because you might wake up one day

And realize that you lost a diamond

You walked into my world

I couldn't let you go

I really do miss you

I just thought we were meant to be together

I guess now we will neva know

You were my everything

You r worthy my wait

But you have ruined it

You don't give a damn fuck of

how I feel about you

What kind of game are you playing?

I feel so much angry inside

To figure out if this is my fault that I lost you

Or

He is playing game with me

You made me feel so used,

Stupid,

Lonely,

Angry,

Betrayal,

Unbeautiful,

Dirty,

Hurt,

And depress

YOU ARE A FUCCIN JERK!

Don't flatter me because it won't work that way

And I will not believe any word come out of ur mouth

Laying down in my bed with so much angry fill in my mind

I question myself

Do I ever think about u?

Do I ever cry myself to sleep?

Do I ever regret of having you in my life?

Do I ever regret of sleeping with you.,

Do I ever miss you?

In the middle of the night,

When I am awake

I forgot about you

I forgot:

His name

His face

His kiss

The love he once gave me

Now you have someone who is way betta me

I forgot:

Hos close we were

How you walk

How you talk

How you dance

How you make me smile

How you flirt with me

How you laugh and grin

The smile on his face

The love we make

The sex you once gave me

The way he make me feel secure, beautiful, and good

How he make me cry

How he hurt me

I forget everything about YOU

Cuz you aint worth a shyt to me

The feelin that I have for you s fuccin gone

I will never bring it back and I don't want to bring it back

Cuz it will hurt me even more if I thinka bout it

I am through of crying every single day

It aint getting anywhere near betta

My heart can't take it anymore

Not worth to cry for someone who does not give a damn about you

Feelin is so fuccin value to me, so cherish it

Truth will set you free

if you just be blunt about it

I wouldn't be feeling like this

Life is so hard to deal with

Time for me to move on

You are in the pas and whatever

guy that I like is my future

It is your loss that you lose a good women like me

I will move on but I will continue to give men a hard time

No more of being kind to men cuz they tend to

Take a advantage of it.

AIN'T LIFE IS A DAMN BITCH????

DECEMBER 2006

Copyright by Contessa Brown